Lost for words

I've been trying to think of something to write here for the longest time, but I've been bitten by that evil bug of blankness. I was going to say writer's block, but as I don't consider myself a writer just yet, I can't say that. Maybe one day! No....No maybe's about it! Definitely one day.

I have been trying to work out what it is that I actually want to do with my life, and its proving very difficult. At the minute I'm working in a job that I don't enjoy all that much, but it's quite easy and the pay isn't that bad. It's keeping a roof over my head and food on the table. But one my biggest fears in life is ending up in a job that I've just settled for; one that's easy to do and pays ok, but means that I'll be stuck behind a desk for the rest of my life. I couldn't cope with that at all. I'm not the most active of people, but I have been working in the job for about 5 months now, and I'm more than ready to push my head through the computer screen that stares back at me for 8 1/2 hours a day, 5 days a week. I would really love to work in the film industry, as a Script Supervisor. That is my DREAM job, but I have no experience with working with films, and only a very limited amount of experience in theatre. I know its not really about what you know, and more about WHO you know, but I just can't help but think that a little experience could go a long way to getting me my dream job. As a back up, and maybe the experience that I need, I think I could work in Radio. I hate being on screen or stage, but I love talking about rubbish (as you may have guessed by this site!!!!!), so radio seems the perfect option. I think in a couple of months time when my contract at my current job runs out, I'm going to have a serious re-think of my life, and see where I am, and more importantly where I want to be. I just wish somebody could come along and tell me that everything will be ok, and I won't end up wearing my computer monitor as a hat, but that's not what life is all about, so I'll just have to wait and see.

Anyone for a drink?

I went out with my friends last night on an impromptu drinking session! As I was walking home from work, I was so looking forward to putting on my PJ's which are my favourite clothes in the Universe, curling up on my sofa with my quilt and a good movie, then going up to bed to read my book. (I'm reading Stephen King's Dark Tower Series at the minute, and I'm on Book 6! I just want to get it finished...I'm gripped.) But when I got back I was informed that our friends Ross and Gaz would be coming over for dinner, and that after that we would be going out to listen to them sing and play at a bar called Ryans, where they have another open mic night. So my plans of complete vegging were ruined. I know I didn't HAVE to go out with them, but I wasn't going to go and let them have all the fun and leave me behind! So, after a delicious dinner of Toad-in-the-Hole (which you American's might not know about and I suggest you find out, because it is the epitome of British dishes and scrummy!) I grumpily and quite loudly went upstairs and got myself ready. However, when we got there we had a large glass of red wine that went down a treat. That sorted me right out! Grumpy Rach was replaced by "wahoooooo lets get drunk" Rach! One glass of red wine turned into two glasses, which turned into 3 glasses, which basically meant that we had had a bottle of wine each! hhhmmm...Needless to say I was more than a little wobbly when leaving there. Daisy, Gaz and I decided that we would venture down to our local haunt The Friary to the Cheese night they were having. Now, I'll have to stop you there, because I know what you're all thinking...Cheese night in a club? hhmmm? By cheese I don't mean the average Brie, Cheddar, Mozzarella cheese, I mean the Build Me Up Buttercup, Eye of the Tiger, Baywatch Theme Tune kind of cheese! It was wicked cool! There were just enough people there to make it worthwhile going, but not too many so as you couldn't move. While there we drank copious amount of beer, on top of the wine, which didn't really do to much for the whole wobbliness, but we danced away, making ourselves look very silly, but really not caring!

Now, the point of this post is to tell you that when I finally stumbled through the door, trying to be quiet becuase of our housemate, who had left us earlier to go to bed (sensibly!), and made it into bed, I thought of the perfect topic to write about here. It was thoughtful, deep, inspired and just plain amazing! I worked out exactly how I would word it, and just how it would read. I fell asleep praising myself for my Geniusness. Then when I got into work today to type it up, I had completely forgotten what on earth it was about. I have been racking my brain all morning, but to no avail! aaagghhh!!!!! I'm wondering if getting drunk again will jog the old memory, or just make things worse? I guess I'll just have to try it and find out!!!!! I have the lyrics to Tenacious D's Tribute going through my head, where they write the Greatest Song in the World, and then forget it! tee hee Oh well, I'm sure it'll come back to me at some point. I think the lesson I need to learn from this is: STOP DRINKING! We'll see! :-)

Real or Facade?

I was e mailing Warren the other day, when I started to think about celebrities and other famous people. You see I am a complete and utter Tom Cruise NUT! I just think he is amazing! It all started when I was 7 years old, (7 years and 11 1/2 months to be precise!), and for some reason my Dad gave my Mom a photo of Tom Cruise for Christmas. Even at that age I thought to myself, "Oohhh, who's that?!?!" My parents said in unison, "That's Tom Cruise, star of Top Gun" Being that young, I didn't have a clue what they were talking about, so for my 8th birthday two weeks later, I was allowed to watch the movie! My parents edited bits of it however, as it is actually a 15 rating! I was stunned....I immediately fell in love with this man Tom Cruise. My former crush of Jason Donovan, (who most Americans will probably not have heard of) was forgotten about and my new man had taken over. Ever since then, 14 years later, I'm still in love! :-) I worship the man - to a certain extent - which I find completely baffling. After all he is just a man. So he's got more money than I could even imagine, and his face is always in some magazine or another, but he goes to sleep just as we humans do, he bathes just as we do, he has a family he cares about, but for one reason or another he just doesn't seem REAL. As I was thinking about this the other day, I was wondering how much of what we see of these people is actually them. Do they put on a facade for the cameras coming across as one thing, but then when they got home and away from the press do they change completely? Tom Cruise comes across in interviews as being such a nice guy. I read once that when he was at a premier, a nurse got hit by a car; he stayed with her until the ambulance came then paid her $15,000 hospital fee for her. Then the other day I heard that while he was filming War of the Worlds, he took the cast and crew out to Dairy Queen, and on the counter was a jar raising money for a young girl who needed an operation, and apparently he put $5,000 cash in it! How much of this is really true, and if it is, is done out of selflessness, or just for publicity? I would love to believe that it was an act of kindness with no ulterior motive involved, because I want to believe that he is the 'perfect' guy.

But I guess that everyone with an ounce of influence on society is the same. They have to be so careful of what they say and do in public because they are aware of the following they have. The slightest thing could damage their whole career, or on the other hand, give them that much more better publicity that their influence then becomes greater. It would be nice to think that what we see on our screens and magazines etc. Is an exact representation of their true personalities, because otherwise I think I would feel a little cheated, as if I was being lied to. But on the other hand, I can understand why they would hide their true selves from the millions of adoring (and no so adoring) fans, to protect themselves. It must be hard to live such a public life!

Hanging with Hippies

As I mentioned in my previous post, I went to Georgia for my Spring Break when I was at Keene State College. It was the most amazing week ever, where I met some wonderful people who changed my life, but I doubt if I'll ever see again. My friend Beck had been a couple of years before and persuaded us to make the 30+hour bus ride from Keene to Brunswick, GA. I'm so glad that she did.

When we arrived to the Hotel in the Forest, all backpacked up to the ears, we were taken straight to the hub of the hostel, where we paid up for our week's stay. As soon as you walked into the gates of the hostel, the whole atmosphere changed. People changed. The noises changed. It was incredible. We were then shown to our 'treehouse'. It was really a Hut on Stilts, with 8 bunkbeds on the top floor, and hammocks slung from the ceiling on the ground floor. We put our stuff down and decided who was going to be first in the shower. There were only 2/3 showers, so we had to take it in turns. Especially as they were outdoor showers, with very little shelter. Luckily they were quite deep into the forest, with many trees to camouflage you. Our nearest Shower was called the Angel shower, and there were a few angel statues dotted around, and a huge full length mirror. The shower spout was attached to a tree surrounded by boardwalk, so that you could stand underneath the water looking out onto nature herself. It was so peaceful, with hardly a sound at all, other than the running water. Once we were all clean and dressed again - without shoes I'd like to add...There had been quite a bit of rain the week before, so all the paths were quite muddy and sandy, so you just didn't wear shoes, I didn't see a pair of shoes all week - we walked back to the main part of the hostel, where we were given a quick guided tour. Beck remembered most of it anyway, and she was thrilled to be back again. There was a certain serenity to the place that just took over, and I think we became very different people. We were just in time for the free dinner that you get every night, and we walked into the dining room to see everyone standing in a circle around the room holding hands. We duly joined in, not really too sure what to expect, when one of the managers informed us that at this time every day, everyone gathers to say their name, where they come from and what they are thankful for, for that day. At first we all felt slightly awkward, not really too sure what to say, I think we all managed to stammer out our thankfulness for our safe journey, and our friends and family back at home. By the end of our stay, we were so relaxed in our surroundings that we were thankful for the birds and the trees; the sky and the lake; the incredible people we had met there...I could go on. I think that was one of my favourite parts of the Hostel.

As I've just mentioned we met some unbelievable people during our stay in the forest. There was a group of people touring the states in a Camper Van named Georgia Peaches! One guy was called Ralf and he was as big as a bear! He was huge with broad shoulders with long dark hair and a big beard! He was slightly grizzled with age, but still had the glisten of youth in his friendly eyes. You would have expected him to have a great booming voice, but he didn't, he spoke quite softly, as if not to disturb the nature that surrounded us. He wore a long thick poncho, and gave the best hugs I think I've ever had in my life. Because of his great size, he just enveloped you in his arms and for those few moments in that embrace, you knew that if the world collapsed around your ears right then, you would not be harmed, because you were protected from everything. I would give anything to have another of those hugs. I remember one night, a small group of us had been talking until quite late, and when it was decided that it was time for bed, the 4 of us stood up and had a 'group hug' with Ralf being the 'centre'. We must have stayed like that for a good 5 minutes, but it didn't matter, because once again the world was right. No one felt the need to talk, the silence was not awkward - just peaceful.

There was another man whose name was Colonel Jack Cornflower. (How cool is that?????) He was phenomenal. I swear he saw the world in numbers! He taught us all about the Mayan calendar, and that numbers were the basis of the Mayan Culture. (There are loads of great websites out there if anyone's interested. I won't link them, as there are just too many.) We would sit and talk for hours and hours about all sorts - the UK, travelling, stars, the universe, culture, food....You name it - we talked about it! He knew how to read people, how to discourage their insecurities and encourage their inner self to be true. There were many other amazing people staying at the hostel, from families with small children, to more spring breakers like ourselves, to people with busy day jobs who just wanted to get away from it all. What struck me the most was how these people would come down to Georgia and live the ideal (to me!) lifestyle of being close to nature, recylcing everything, living off the land etc, and then inform us that they were IT Consultants in Detroit, or Piano Tuners in Boston, or Photographers in New York...It was almost as if they, and us to a certain extent, were leading a double life. It was fascinating to me.

The week we were there was the week in which the USA declared war with Iraq, but because we were so cut off from all civilization with no TV or radio, and just one telephone, most of us didn't have a clue. To be honest, I liked it that way. On the Wednesday night the owner of the Hostel came had held a meeting on the porch of the main building. It was then that he broke the news to us - obviously the mood changed, and went from being a relaxed, comfortable atmosphere to very somber, withdrawn. As the gathering broke small groups just drifted away to discuss the topic at hand, until later on when nature seemed to take over again, as if she was telling us that there was nothing we could do about what had happened, so just accept it, and go with our lives. And after all - who are we to argue with Nature!?

It was just the most incredible week ever, and I WILL be back at some point. There are so many people I want to take there, because they have heard so much about it! I just can't wait for the time to come when my opportunity arises, I'll snap it up in an instant! And if any of you are ever in the Georgia area (!) pop on down to Brunswick (well just outside) and stay at the Hostel in the Forest!

I've been Tagged!

Thanks to Lorianne I've been tagged for the latest Book Meme for the first time! It's sooo exciting! She tagged me because I'd had to read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig whilst at Keene State College, and as she wrote, "lived to tell the tale". I loved that book, where as many of my class mates couldn't finish it. I read it whilst on spring break in a hostel in Georgia. I think it was the perfect situation to enjoy such a book, being surrounded by forest, sleeping in hammocks, swimming in lakes. I think that's one of the main reasons I loved it so much. Anyway, that's not what I'm talking about...I'll save that for another time.

1. Total Number of Books I've Owned: Oooh, that's a real tough question...Too many to count I would think. I recently had to sort out my room at home, and I came across so many books that I had forgotten I owned, that go all the way back to when I was learning to read. I had to give most of them away, but I kept hold of the real important ones, like Mrs Merryweather's Letter and Katherine Paterson's Bridge to Terabithia. Along with my childhood books, lined up on my bookshelf are the many text and literature books from my university course. American Studies entailed a great deal of reading, and many of the texts we had to read were actually quite good (as far as compulsory reading goes!!!!), so I kept most of them. Counting those, I have a goodly sized bookshelf full of books of all genres, styles and ages!

2. Last Book I Bought: To be honest, I can't remember. I know that the last book I got out of the Library was Stephen King's Wolves of the Calla - Book 5 of the Dark Tower Series. I have a feeling the last book I bought was Cinderlily by David Ellwand. It's the most beautiful book, telling the story of Cinderella, but by using flowers as the characters. The photography and the colors are just so stunning. David Ellwand has also done a book called faerie-ality, which is a catalogue of clothes...For FAIRIES! He has made them all out of feathers, leaves and petals etc. Again, the photography and illustrations are breath-taking. I love it!

3. Last Book I Read: William Langeweische's American Ground - The Unbuilding of the World Trade Center. It was one of our course books, for our module on 'The American Apocalypse'. I didn't read it at the time...*ooops* but decided that I would read it now. It was amazing. I can't really say that I enjoyed it, because it's not really the sort of subject matter than you can enjoy, but I'm glad I read it. William Langeweische was the only journalist allowed unlimited access to Ground Zero during the unbuilding. He delves into the details of the whole process from day 1 until the day the Foundation Hole was totally cleared, outlining the key players, from the Firemen, the Police and the Engineers to the crowds of public that poured out in the early stages, as the 'bucket brigade'. The imagery Langeweische creates is incredible, at one point he describes in great detail remnants of Building 7, The Banker's Trust Building, and the state in which it was left; there were briefcases still on tables, the plates of breakfast left exactly as they were, forgotten in the immense panic, covered in a layer of grey dust, unifying everything as one. It sent shivers down my spine. I'm not sure it's the sort of book that I could read again, but I'll keep hold of it anyway, just in case.

4. Five Books That Mean A Lot To Me:

There is a quote from the movie Ever After, when Nicole is asked to chose a book from shelves and shelves full, she replies, "I could no sooner pick a favorite star from the heavens." This is just what I feel at having to pick 5 books. I thought it would be quite difficult, as I started to get into reading a quite a late stage, but actually, I keep thinking of more and more....So here they are as I feel at the moment. They could possibly change before tomorrow!

Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransom

This was the first book I read where I was actually there in the story with them. Instead of it just being words on a page, I was taking part in the action, I was a part of their group. To add to all this, I read it while we were on a family holiday in Norfolk, on a boat! It was perfect. I could not put it down. When I was growing up, my older sister ALWAYS had her nose in a book, and it would drive me nuts...All I wanted was for her to play with me, which she would do at the insistence of my parents to shut me up!!!! But that summer when I was about 11 years old (I think), I didn't pester her once. I just wanted to sit and read my book! Ever since that summer, MY nose has always been in a book.

Listen for the Singing - Jean Little

Over the years since that summer, almost every book I have read has been on the recommendation of my sister. I had a good 5/6 years to catch up on! One year, she gave me this one to read. It is about a young German girl who's family re-locate to Canada during the war. Anna Solden is 14 years old, and has to adjust to life in high school after years of special classes due to her bad eyesight. When her older brother is called up to fight, and returns blind, the whole family has to come to terms with the tragedy. But it is Anna who helps him come to terms with his blindness, and the bond between them becomes stronger than ever. I chose this book because it was the first book to affect me so deeply that it made me cry. I remember sitting on my bed, and not being able to see the words properly because they were all blurry! Since then, I've become a complete Sop, and I cry over all sorts! :-)

The Alchemist - Paulo Cohelo

This book comletely blew me away. There was so much in it that I could identify with, but at the same time, it brought up new points of view, and subjects that I had never thought of before. Cohelo's writing style is so different to anything I had read before, it was quite simple and easy to read, yet dealing with the most complex of ideas. If anyone hasn't read this, I urge - yes that's an URGE - you to read it!

The Smoke Jumper - Nicholas Evans

This is written by the same guy who wrote The Horse Whisperer - his first novel. The Smoke Jumper is about 2 friends who have grown up together, and work together during the summer months working to prevent and attack forest fires in Montana. Having read this book (and Evans' others) I have vowed that I WILL one day live in Montana. He manages to paint pictures with his words of the mountains, the plains, the forests. The story was amazing, and I was hooked from the first sentence. There is so much emotion in this book, the pain, the love, the hurt, the forgiveness. I could not put it down at all. I finished it at about 3am, and just sat there in complete awe, and I guess a little bit of shock. I couldn't think of a single thing to say (that was coherent anyway!!!). I don't know if anyone else has done anything similar, but while I was reading it, I was listening to Norah Jones' Come Away With Me, and to this day, when I hear any song from that album, I can see what's going on in the book.

My final book isn't actually a book, but a series - if I can get away with that.

The Belgariad - David Eddings

It's a series of 5 books which tells of a young boy's journey of self discovery and growth from a farm hand into the most powerful sorcerer in the world. Yep, this is where my love of science fiction/fantasy novels began. Again, it's all because of my sister, who threw the first book Pawn of Prophecy into my hands and told me to give it a try. Which I duly did with a great deal of encouragement from her, because the opening was very tough going and I so nearly gave up. I'm so glad I didn't and ended up reading all 5 books in about 3/4 weeks, which for me, was huge. I remember one Sunday morning sitting at the dining room table waiting for breakfast, and my mom walking in and being stunned by the fact that I was sat there with a book! Although it's obviously a fantastic story, the characters are believable, and likeable, which means that once they are introduced, the whole saga takes off and is totally gripping! Because of this series, I've read pretty much everything that David Eddings has ever written!

5. Tag five people and have them do this on their blog:

Because I do not know many other bloggers yet, I'm going to have to put the people who's blog I read regularly:

Smithee - I would be interested to read what Smithee has to say as she is an English teacher! (I think!)

Jeckles - Who's blog I have recently found and been loving completely! You should all go and check out his post today! It's wicked! I know he was battling "The White Space" earlier this week, so this should sort that out!

Richard Lawrence Cohen - I found his blog totally by accident, but it turned out that I read one f his books for my dissertation last year! How strange is that? The first post I read had me hooked completely, and now I'm a regular visitor!

Brian - again, I think I found his blog by following links here and there, and was honoured when he left a comment on my blog. His posts are varied and entertaining! And keep me going through my week at work!

and finally,

Batonga - who is jetting off to Hawaii soon, and I'm very jealous. I hope you'll find time to squeeze this in before you go!

I hope you all enjoyed that! I certainly did. Thanks Lorianne!

Creating History

I realised for the first time today, that when I see a random stranger walking down the street I have a tendency to create a history for them. This afternoon as I was driving back to work from the Supermarket, I heard myself thinking about it. There were two middle-aged men walking together, one slightly in front. Neither of them were talking, but the guy walking a little behind was looking intently at his companion. There could have been a slight lull in the conversation, or a dramatic pause, but the look on his face conveyed hurt, and an impatience for the next line. So, as I do, I started to create a whole back story for the two strangers. They were both wearing suits, so they were on their lunch break walking to the nearest store for some food. For some reason they instantly became lovers, involved in an illicit affair that they had to keep secret at the office. The conversation between them had been strained for the previous part of their journey before my path crossed theirs, and just as I was passing, it had moved into an argument. The look of hurt and anticipation was caused by a comment that the leading man had made. Something spiteful and untrue, said just to cause the other man some pain, something to get back at him for the words that he had said last night. Then just as quickly they had entered my life, they are gone, probably never to be seen by me again.

Then a little later we were passing a young woman wearing an incredibly short skirt and a tight tank top. Her hair was blowing about in the blustery wind that chills the air in Derby at the minute. I didn't think she would work in an office, so she became a struggling student, walking into work at one of the nearby pub/restaurants. Earning a living in a job that she hates, but has to do if she wants to continue her studies. Dreading the afternoon turning into evening when the leering, leching men will come out in their droves to slime all over her. And just to make things worse, she was out last night, clubbing with some friends. So not only does she have to deal with unsavoury men, she has to do it with a hangover!

There were many more people that we passed on our drive back, totally oblivious to the fact they had in a small way changed my life. For without them, I would not be sitting here right now, writing this for you! It's like The Five People you Meet in Heaven, how people can touch you, and change your life without even realising they're doing it. It fascinates me.

I guess it all comes down imagination again. It surprises me how many of my posts revolve around imagination. I'm so thankful for mine! It makes life so much easier to deal with!

Time for recovery

Hi everyone! Sorry for the lack of posting for a while, I've been off sick with the Mumps! I didn't think I'd get them, as I had been vaccinated against it, but hey, who can tell what life's gonna throw at you!

Whilst I was off though, I kept a journal of all sorts of things I wanted to talk about here when I got back. Now, in typical Rachel Style, I've left the book at home, so I've forgotten most of what I wanted to write about! There are few bits and pieces that I remember though!

The weekend before last was probably one of the most stressful weekends I've had in a very long time! I didn't realise quite how much work was involved in moving house. Finally, we have moved out of our cold, dark unfriendly house, and into a much bigger, warmer, lighter one. Our friend Kim has joined us, and its just wonderful! The new place is just down the road from some parks, which are great for shooting some hoops, or playing Frisbee, or just hanging out with a picnic. The roads are much wider, which means that there is so much more light. This gives the whole area a much nicer vibe that we're all picking up on. All three of us just seem to be in a much lighter mood, that I'm hoping will continue for the summer.

I think because the move was so stressful, we all appreciate the new house so much more. We had 8 car loads and a van full of stuff altogether! There were just boxes and boxes of kitchen supplies, photos, paintings, old clothes, new clothes, lamps, bathroom stuff everywhere! I just wanted it done so that I could go to bed and start my recovery! We have some wonderful friends however, who were more than helpful, they were just amazing! They did as much as they could so that I could do as little as I could! They drove to and from the new house many times, and ensured that everything that could be done was done. Then another friend came round a little later with a picnic for us, because all of our food was still packed up, or in the trash! We were expecting a few sandwiches and maybe some crisps, but she turned up with a feast fit for kings, (or queens in our case!). There were 4 different types of sandwiches, potato salad, coleslaw, little handmade jam sandwich hearts, a myriad different crisps....And then some cakes and sweets for after! It was just what we needed after a hard day's moving. Friends are one of the most important things in life, and I appreciate mine more than words can express.

It was very strange spending the final night in our old house. Everything was packed away, apart from the few essentials that were needed for the next morning. The wardrobes were empty, the cupboards bare, the shelves were stark against the plain walls, stripped of all the posters and pictures. Our voices echoed around the rooms, and we were surrounded by that silence that only exists in empty buildings. When the morning sun rose, and woke us from our broken sleep, we were all too happy to vacate the unreceptive shell that had been our home for 6 months. When all was unpack in the new house however, we had the opposite emotions. When the sun set that night, the wardrobes were packed, the walls were covered in the faces of old and new friends, and the rooms were full of the noise of happy voices chatting away. The change was wonderful, and for the past week that we have been in our new house, things have just got better and better...Long may it continue!

Hope you're all well, and having fun!

Writing vs Blogging...

I've just been reading Jeckles Geek Blog, which has become one of my favourite places to visit recently, and he has a post up about the best kind of writing. I totally agree with everything he writes. The best posts are those that just come to you as you're writing them. Don't get me wrong, the posts that are thought out and scrutinized can also be very good, but I think it can get to a stage where they no longer come from the heart, but from the head instead. I much prefer to read and write stuff that comes from the heart.

However, I do know how it feels to have something in your head that you are desperate to tell people, and try to get the words out so that they sound just right. It's very difficult, so your brain starts to take over, and then things become over analysed, and you ask yourself, "does that sarcastic?" or "does does that sound really mean?", because to you, it's ok, you can hear the intonation in your phrases, but when other people are reading them...They're just words on a page. Things can become misinterpreted very easily which then causes problems. But I guess the same can be said of any form of writing really.

Jeckles also points out that he is not a writer, but a blogger. I feel the same way...I do not consider myself a writer, but more of a journal-keeper on-line! I don't consider myself (at this stage) good enough to be a writer. I'm hoping that will come with time, and practice. In the mean time I intend to keep reading the amazing blogs that I read regularly, and Lorianne, you'll be please to know, I took your advice, and I'm now writing at least something every day in a journal at home. Even when I come back slightly worse for ware from the pub...I'll put a little snippet in there! Thanks for the advice!

The strangeness of School...Pt 2

Since I wrote the first part of this story, my brain has just been overloaded with snippets of memories from school. Trying to remember the names of some of those Scary 6th Formers, or minor flashbacks to getting in trouble for the silliest of things. So once again, I thought I'd delight you all(!!!) and write some more of them down!

One of the fastest things you have learn while at boarding school, is how to get on with people. When you live in a dorm with as many as 7 other people, who might also happen to be in the same form as you, you would be living with them pretty much 24 hours a day. That's why you need to learn to get on! Of course we all had petty arguments over who's stuff was in who's 'area', and who had borrowed who's pencil and not given it back. You had to have a certain about of tolerance in order to survive, but when you're 8, you can't spell the word tolerance, let alone know what it meant! However, on the whole most of us got on fairly well. There was the odd exception of course. I remember when I was about 10, there was a girl in the year above me (who I would love to catch up with now, to see what she's up to) who was very much a fiery red head...And wow, was she FIERY!!! Not only that, but she was huge! She was well over 5'5 and quite broad at the age of 12, which gave her a towering presence. I'm fairly sure she could meet eye to eye with some of the teachers! Tanya had a temper unlike anyone I knew. When she was in a good mood, she was lovely, and we got on really well, but then at times, something would flick, and she would become a Ginger Hulk! One afternoon for reasons that have left me now, Tanya was in one of her moods. In these situations, you had to really watch what you said, or where you went, in order to avoid serious injury! As she went redder and redder in the face with anger, we got paler and paler in fear. I don't think she would let us leave our dorm, and we weren't going to anything to stop her! My friend Louise, bless her heart, was only trying to help the situation by finding out the reason for Tanya's frightful mood, when before we all knew it, she had Louise pinned up against the wall screaming at her! We were all so stunned at what was going on that nobody could move. I think there was throwing of coathangers, and maybe even shoes in the whole Fracas that followed! It was one of the biggest fights I think I've been in even to this day! Looking back on it now, it was so much fun! We got to throw stuff without the supervision of adults! We all got into trouble of course, none of us worse than Tanya though. She was put into 'isolation', she had to eat alone, sleep in the Sick Bay alone, sit alone in lessons...We all felt a bit sorry for her, but when she got into her tempers we were all thankful of the isolation!

Another quite handy thing that you learn to do, is sleep through ANYTHING!!!! Again, it comes down to living in a dorm with many people in. When they're all chatting away, and you want to sleep, you have to learn to live with it, and block it out. It's a good talent to have (if I can call it a talent), because in later life, you can sleep through the annoying blackbirds that sing at 4am in the morning, or the jet planes that fly over your house at midnight!

A further strange regulation they enforced during all my time at St Christopher's School, was that you had to have your dressing gown over the end of your bed, and your slippers at the side, in case of an emergency in the night. At the time my dressing gown was quite a heavy duty toweling one, which weighed quite a lot. It felt a bit odd at first having this great weight on my feet, but after a while it became a comfort. When I went home for breaks, I would still put my dressing gown at the end of my bed, and even when I started at my next school, where we had actual pegs to hang them from, it would always be there where it belonged. In fact, even to this day, 5 years after finishing school, if I don't have some sort of weight at my feet, be in a quilt, or even just a folded towel, I find it very difficult to get to sleep. Yes, I know, I probably shouldn't be admitting this to the world, but hey...I am! Isn't it strange what silly traditions can install into our brains.....

Oh, once again, I could go on and on, but I think that's about enough of that. I hope I haven't bored you to sleep with this one! I think there will probably be more to come too, I just keep remember more and more occurrences, that, more than anything, I want to get down 'on paper'.

Just a bit of FUN!

This comes with thanks to Debi whose Blog I found through Wil Wheaton's site.
It's all a bit of fun!!!

The object is simple: Put an x next to the things you've done:

(x) smoked a cigarette
(x ) smoked a cigar
( ) made out with a member of the same sex
(x) been in love
(x ) been dumped
() stolen
() been fired
( ) been in a fight
() snuck out of my parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
( x) made out with a stranger
() gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
(x) had a crush on a teacher
(x) skipped school
( ) slept with a coworker
() seen someone die
( ) had a crush on one of your blogging friends
(x) been to Canada
(x) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) thrown up in a bar
( ) purposely set a part of myself on fire
(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
( ) met someone in person from the blogosphere
( ) been hxc dancing at a show (hxc? I have no idea what that means!)
( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) made a snow angel
(x) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake id
(x) watched the sun set
() felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
(x) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled
() been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
(x) pet a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
() run a red light
( ) been suspended from school
() been in a car accident
( ) had braces
(x) felt like an outcast
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night - Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Cake baby!! mmm
(x) had deja vu
(x) danced in the moonlight
(x) hated the way you look
( ) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes
(x) squished barefoot through the mud - In Georgia Hostel in the Forest - one of the best weeks of my life!
(x) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country - does the other side of the world count on this one? I've been to Australia, and both sides of the USA, but to be honest, I don't think I've been to that many places in my home country of the UK!!!!!
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
( x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x ) sung karaoke
(x) paid for something with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
() made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) danced in the rain
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
( x) been kissed under a mistletoe
( x) watched the sun set with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
( x) made a bonfire
(x) crashed a party
(x) gone roller-skating
(x) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey
() worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) screamed penis in class
( ) ate dog/cat food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
( ) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
() have a little black dress
( x) had a dream that you married someone - Tom Cruise to be precise!!!
( ) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( x) kissed a fish - hahahahaha - well, kissed someone who kissed like you'd imagine a fish to kiss like - It was GROSS!!!!
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
( ) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
( /) didn't take a shower for a week - I've given myself half a cross for that one...it was more like 5 days...we went to the Glastonbury Music Festival, where there were no showers! It was amazing!!!! (not the no showering part...the festival part!!!)
(x ) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
(x) are too scared to watch scary movies alone
(x) believe in ghosts
() have more then 30 pairs of shoes
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
( ) gone streaking
() played ding-dong-ditch
( ) played chicken [in the pool]
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
( ) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused - it's what gets me through life :) - Me TOO!!!!!
() caught a fish then ate it
( ) made porn
() caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
() mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
( ) have a Britney Spears CD
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept naked
(x ) French braided someone's hair
(x) gone skinny dippin in a pool - It was a lake actually....
( ) been kicked out of your house
(x) ridden a horse bareback
( ) eaten a lobster you caught yourself
( ) killed another human being

Copy and paste to your own journal and adjust the x's accordingly.

The strangeness of school...

Whilst driving home to my parents house for the weekend, my older sister and I started to reminisce about our first Boarding School. She was 8 when she started and then I joined her 3 years later when I was 7. When I tell people that, they almost always seem aghast that we were 'sent away' so young. I really don't see it like that. For me, at least, it was this huge adventure. My sister would come home at the end of each term with some wonderful stories about what they had been up to. Midnight Feasts, Playing in the small wood at the end of the Field, being in trouble for talking after 'Lights Out'. I just wanted to get there and join her too. Also, a friend of my mom's daughter was starting at the same time as me, so I at least knew somebody my own age.

My time at St Christopher's School, (when I think back on it now, 10 years later) was amazing. I made some wonderful friends, who I am still in touch with now, and the memories I have from there will be with me forever! So, as my sister and I were talking, we decided that all our memories should be written down, so that we'll always have a 'hard copy' of them...So that's what I'm going to do. Forgive me if this post doesn't flow so well, I'm just going to type as I remember, then sort it later!

I don't know where to start really, so I guess I'll just go with whatever comes to me.

Being 7 years old and away from home was quite difficult. I was lucky in the fact that my sister was already there, so if I ever felt upset, I could just go and find her, and she'd give me a hug. At that age I was terrified of Thunder storms. I never really knew what it was exactly that scared me, I just didn't like them at all, the bright flashes, followed by the low grumble of thunder, that nobody ever really explained to me. I have distinct memories of sneaking out of my dorm into the corridor, lit only by the security light outside the window, and creeping past the Matron's room at the end, just as scared of her as I was of the thunder. Everytime the lightening flashed I would freeze in terror just waiting for that rumble of thunder to consume all logical thoughts in my head. Eventually I made it to my sisters dorm, which seemed to be about a million miles away, I knocked lightly on the door, to be greeted by a whole bunch of smiling faces as they were watching the storm out of the window. My sisters friends were all really nice to me, as I was 'Lizzie's little Sister', and they all took my under their wings. She came over and gave me one of those hugs that only big sisters can give. Then I went and crawled into her bed, with the covers tight over my ears, trying to block out the terrible noise, while they all sat captivated by the storm. I think I might have got into a LOT of trouble the next morning for being out of my dorm, but I didn't care. For those hours in the middle of the night when I was so scared, my sister and her friends were all there to look out for me!

We had so many strange rules at this school, which only seem odd to me now. At the time, it was just the normal thing to do. At meal times we had a 6th Former at the head of the table. Now, you have to understand that when you're 7 years old, and the 6th Formers are 13, they are SCARY! When they walk down the corridor, you move out of the way. Unless they talk to you, you don't even look at them! They just had this air about them...They were...Well....OLD! Well, that's what it felt like. Anyway, I digress...At dinner they would serve out the food, and you have to have at least a small amount of everything; even if you didn't like it. You could request a small portion if there was something you didn't like, but you HAD to eat it (even the grossest of foods like peas and Frankfurter Sausages and tinned tomatoes). Once all the food was eaten, and it was time to clear the table, the Kitchen Manager, Miss Brent - who herself was incredibly scary - would ring a hand bell, and that was it...No talking...At...All. Complete Silence. Quite why, I'm still not sure about, but that's the way it was. None of us were ever daring enough to test out what would happen if you got caught trying to have a sneaky conversation! The silence didn't really achieve anything, I don't think, it's not as if we were too busy talking to get on with things...I don't know.

I think my most vivid memory of this school is the smell. When we arrived back after vacations, having been away for about 1/2 months, the first thing that hit you when you walked in the door was the smell of floor polish mixed with something else that I don't think I would be able to describe even if I had smelled it only yesterday. Nobody knew what this mystery smell was, but it was school. The dread that had been building up in the 1 1/2 hour car journey there was suddenly whisked away with that smell, replaced by the excitement of seeing friends again, finding out which dorm you were in, then running up the stairs to 'bag' your bed before anyone else, finding out which meal table you were on, and which form teacher you would have for that year. Even just thinking about it now, 10 years later, brings a smile to my face and the same butterflies in my stomach. Oh to have those days back....Just for a little while.

There is so much more I want to say here, but I think that's probably enough for the time being. This post is probably more for my benefit than anyone else's, as it won't mean much to them...But I've enjoyed writing it, and I hope you enjoyed reading it.

A bit of Time Wasting!

Internet quizzes...I could spend hours and hours wasting time taking all kinds of quizzes on the internet! I used to frequent a site called emode.com that has now changed to Tickle.com. They have tests such as, "Who's your cat's celebrity match?" and "What breed of dog are you?" Really important life changing tests!!!! But so much fun all the same. Then for some reason or another, I don't remember now, I stopped visiting the site and starting spending my time a little more wisely (well, maybe not wisely...But doing something different anyway!). Then, yesterday, my sister sent me a link for this test. It determines what kind of thinker you are. Now, I'm always fairly skeptical of tests like these, because I think the results can be swayed if you answer 1 question differently, but they are still fun to do! I came out as a Linguistic Thinker, which I think is quite true. You should take it, and see how it turns out. *This is a British quiz, so there may be some questions that my American readers will not know - I think there's one about TV hosts.* But give it a go anyway....After all, who doesn't have 10 minutes to waste finding out one of life's most important questions? :-)

Also, if anyone else is bored out there, try Tickle. It's hugely fun, and you can find out all sorts of things about yourself that you never knew! Apparently, my celebrity LURVE match is Hugh Grant! Well, I wouldn't say no! And my Formula 1 Co-Driver would be Ruebens Barrichello! I think I might go and waste a bit more with those life changing quizzes right now! Go on....Have a giggle! Find out what flavour you are, or what kind of monkey you are!

Just on a side note...I've been trying to find out how to add a picture on to my blog. Not onto the posts themselves, but onto the main page, and I can't find anywhere to help me. I have very little experience with HTML, so I have no idea how to go about it. If anyone can help me, it would be much appreciated.

Thanks, and have a good weekend!

Where the writing's good...

Over the past couple of days, I have been directed to some new and wonderful blogs. Thanks to Shane, I've been introduced to some of the best writing I've come across in a long while. As I wrote to him in his comments, if I could write anything that came remotely close to being half as good as some of the stuff I've read recently, I'll be very happy indeed.

However, I think I have a long way to go before I enter the vicinity of those guys! I know what I want to say in my head, but then when it comes to putting it down on paper (or screen in this case!) it just sounds terrible. Is that something that comes with practice? Or are some people just born with a natural talent to be able to grab people and suck them into a different world for a while?

I love escapism. I think that's why I'm such a movie fan. I love to be able to disappear, even for just a few minutes everyday, into someone else's life, be they real or fictional. When I read a book, or a blog in many cases, I am right there in the action, not just reading words off a page. I can visualize every fine detail of the scene, whether its been outlined in the narrative or not. I often think, when I'm hooked by a book, how I would turn it into a film. I can see the characters so clearly that if I ever was to make a film of a book, I'm not sure I could ever find the right actors for the job. It's hard to describe what happens to me when I read, but I am most definitely 'transported' into their world. I leave the mundane-ness (is that even a word?) of my world, and enter into a completely different one. They can be exciting, sad, dark, all kinds of different colours, depending on the subject matter. At the minute I'm reading The Dark Tower series by Stephen King, which is just amazing. His narrative is so clear that the room I'm in becomes Mid-World, or End-World for a length of time that is totally lost on me. Maybe one day, I'll be able to write like that...

I would love it if anyone has any advice on how to become a better writer, even if it's just to tell me that it comes with practice. There are so many people out there who I admire so much for what they do, and it can sometimes dishearten me, because I know that I'll never be as good as they are. But then I suppose that's what life is about!

Anyway, thanks Shane for directing me to those wonderful blogs.

Poker Faces Everyone

Last weekend, my friends and I had our first Poker Night! It was so much fun. We were only using our coppers to bet with, because it was more of a teaching session than an actual game. I knew the basics, from watching it on TV, and reading bits and pieces, but wasn't too sure how the betting part of it went. My housemate just didn't have a clue, and our other friend didn't really like any form of card games! So we had Ian, who is a MASTER at all things card like; Sally, who's almost as good as Ian; my housemate Daisy, who as I've already mentioned, didn't know a thing about Poker; Kim, who was quite happy to sit and watch the proceedings; and me. We all sat around my our tiny dining room table, while Ian went over the basic rules. We all decided that it would be easier if we learnt as we played, so Ian dealt us all our hands. We had shared out the contents of our piggybank, and we had 29p each to play with! The bets started at 1p.

Tensions were high, because most of us didn't know what was going on! But we all had our first hands, and Daisy just decided that she would bet until the cards were shown, on EVERY hand. Guess what? She won the LOT!!!! She would show her cards and say, "So, what do I have here?" We couldn't believe it! The one person at the table who really had no clue whatsoever, ended up winning everything! However, we played another game, and Daisy's losing streak ended! I won that one...wahoooo!!! As we all learned what we were doing, it became more about strategy, and less about luck, which was even more fun!

Anyway, I've been bitten by the Poker bug, and I want to play more often! We are going to have a Poker night soon, with loads of people, and I can't wait.

If anyone knows of any good Poker books/websites to give me any more beginners hints and tips, it would be muchly appreciated!

Where words fail, music speaks

On the TV last night, they had a show of the Top 100 Albums ever. It got me to thinking (I swore I'd never use that phrase, it's just too Sex and the City!) about the impact of music on everyday life. It struck me just how big a part music plays in so many things that we don't notice. Take commercials for instance, if they use a popular enough song to advertise their product, every time you hear that song, you going to be reminded of that product. That's a fairly obvious point just there, but it does the job I think.

My housemate pointed out that music is one of the few art forms that can affect you so much, and you don't even really need to understand it. Like, for example, Opera. Not everyone's cup of tea, but you can listen to those songs, written and sung in a totally different language, yet still feel the emotion, and energy of it. You don't need to understand the lyrics of a song to be affected by it, is what I'm trying to say I guess. In other art forms, you need to have a vague understanding of what it is for it to have an effect on you. (Feel free to disagree with me, this is just my opinion.) In order to be moved by a film, let's say, you need to know the whole story, or at least part of it. Yeah, you have foreign language films, but they're more often than not, subtitled, so you CAN understand what's going on. The same goes for literature; if you pick up a book that you've never read before, and start reading it halfway through, it's not going to have the same effect on you, as if you'd read it from the start. But with music, you can be swept up in just one lyric, and it can provoke an enormous range of emotions. There's a quote in the movie Empire Records that says, "...Music is the glue of the world. It's what holds it all together. Without [it], life would be meaningless." I think that's so true, without music, my life would be so much emptier, and quieter!

I hope everybody has at least a little music in their life, even if it's singing to yourself in the shower!

He's a Geek

I have just finished reading Just A Geek, by Wil Wheaton, and it's absolutely fantastic. I have been an avid reader of Wil's blog for many years now, and I fully advise those not already reading it to go and check it out. Some of you may have heard of Wil from such things as Stand By Me, Star Trek:The Next Generation, or my personal favorite, Toy Soldiers. However, Wil is no longer The Guy Who Used To Be An Actor© he is now a WRITER and proud of it! If you read either is blog, or his book, or both, you'll understand what I'm talking about. I don't really want to write too much about the book itself, because nothing I write could do it justice, I just advise you allllllllll to go out and read it yourselves.

I'm a huge fan of Wil's writing style, as he totally transports you from in front of you computer into 'Wil Wheaton-land'. You're right there with him as he goes through an audition, or plays D+D with his step-kids. Its wonderful. Both Wil's books (he also wrote Dancing Barefoot a few years ago) are excerpts from his blog, padded out with new material to link the stories together.

Now I'm not a writer, and as I sit here are re-read this, I think it sounds horrible, but I just know what to write to make it better, so I'm afraid you'll just have to be stuck with my horrendous grammar and style. But that is what made reading Just A Geek even better. When Wil first started his website, he wasn't happy with his style either, and he can look back and see how much the whole process of gathering thoughts and putting them onto 'paper' has improved. I can only hope that I can look back (if this is still around in years to come) and see if I too have improved.

So, everyone...Go out and buy a copy of JAG, or Dancing Barefoot NOW! Trust me you won't be able to put it down. I couldn't....I read it in 2 days! Go Go Go!

ReMemories

Recently I have been thinking a great deal about my time studying and travelling in the States 2 years ago (can it really be that long ago?). My fellow traveller, Beck returned to America last month to go on another cross country mission with her cousin, and as I got numerous wonderful e mails recounting their adventures stateside, I was both happy for her that things were going well, but also so very very greeeeeeeen with envy! I miss all my friends from Keene State College, and the time spent there.

Being from the UK, we don't get a lot of snow over here, so to turn up at the start of January, to about 3/4 feet of snow was like entering a strange and wonderful world like Narnia. I remember stepping out of Boston airport at about 9pm into the coldest temperatures I think I've ever been in! We struggled down the road to find the minibus that would take us to Keene, marvelling at the amount of snow, while trying hard not to fall over on the ice! We had to stop on the way to find a pay phone, because our flight had been delayed by about 3 hours, and we needed to warn the lady who was meeting us at KSC. When my friend and I got out of the nice, warm minibus into the seering cold, our breath caught in the back of our throats! We must have been outside for all of about 2/3minutes, but already by then our hands had gone numb and we could no longer feel our toes! Little did we realise that we would have another 2/3 months of this blinding cold!

When we finally arrived at KSC a long and very sleepy 3 hours or so later, we were met and taken to our dorms, that would be our homes for the next 5 months. There were about 4 of us, and all in separate dorms, so while they took one person, the rest of us had to brave it out in the -whatever it was degrees! It was only the next day when we could fully take advantage of the New Hampshire snow! And oh! how we played! Snowballs, snowmen (which I was very disappointed to learn that many KSC students don't actually make anymore!), we tried a few snow angels, but to no avail as when you got up the soft powdery snow just filled in the holes!!! It was wonderful!

Even though most of the New Englanders we had met were totally sick of the sight of snow by April, when it was STILL going, the English lot LOVED it! (well, I did anyway!!) However, when it came to about this time of the year, we were able to wear just the one t-shirt, instead of our usual 2, and we could finally don our flip flops or sandals without getting major frost bite on your toes! Lorianne has a fantastic post about it today, with some very cheery pictures of Keene in the spring time. It was her post that really got the memories flowing Keene, and how much I really do miss it. I would love to have those months back again, and do it all over again. I just enjoyed my self so much, and I met some amazing people, who I miss even more!

My withdrawal symptoms are getting stronger and stronger, and I'm going to need to top up my 'America Levels' soon! Plus the fact that I just need to get out of the UK for a little while, I do NEEEEEED to go back to the States. I'll be there soon, I promise.

Just as bit of a side note, Please can everyone send their best wishes and any good mojo they can spare to Shane Nickerson, who's going through a bit of a rough patch. Thanks guys.

Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees.

I was watching Gladiator last night, and I was inspired by the section in which they put maggots into Maximus' wound to clean it. It struck me how wonderful Nature is, and how much more we could rely on her. Nowadays there are so many manufactured drugs and technologies that we've almost stopped looking to Nature. In so many cases (I understand that there are exceptions) the cure could be right there in our 'back garden'.

I know that some hospitals do use maggots to clean wounds, for example, and many of the drugs that are used come from natural products. But there are many remedies out there which have not been modified that could work just as well.

Now, don't me wrong, if I feel a headache coming on, I'm the first one to say, take some Paracetamol. But first I like to try my Tiger-balm, which more times than not works just as fast, with the added feeling that I haven't just pumped my system full of chemicals.

Bill Hicks has a sketch about Marijuana, and how it shouldn't be illegal, because that would be like admitting that God had made a mistake. Personally, I'm not a great believe in God etc, but it would be admitting that Nature had made a mistake. If Nature hadn't intended for certain things to grow and be used, they wouldn't have been created in the first place. I people could say that such plants and flowers could have been created by mistake, the odd cross contamination here and there, but then that leads us the question...Can Nature make a mistake? I believe in fate, and all things happening for a reason, so my answer to that question would be no, she doesn't make mistakes. So why should we be banning substances that grow naturally upon the Earth, yet condone products that have been manufactured, modified and pumped full of who-knows-what to make us feel better?

Nature is a wonderful thing, and I think we should all take note of John Muir (again!!!) and be at peace with the world and nature.

A world - wide Universal Plea for Help!

For as long as I can remember it has been a dream of mine to someday work in the film industry. Everytime I watch a movie, I long to be a part of it, and have my name on the credits. I don't want to act in movies; I've never been comfortable on the screen, but most definitely behind it. At school, I was always a part of the School plays, as part of the backstage team, and even managed to work my way up to Assistant Director, and Head of Backstage. I loved it. After university, I was trying to think of a career that I could see myself in. I'm not the most academic people, and my attention span is very very limited! So sitting in an office for 8 hours a day (which is what I do at the minute) is not what I call a dream job!

I'm calling for help from anyone who might happen to read this, if they know of anyone in the UK who is willing to take on someone, even for work experience (as that is primarily what I need right now) please, please let me know! I'm feeling at a bit of a loss, and I'm not really too sure what to do with my life, so any direction would be muchly appreciated!

Thank you!

The Power of imagination makes us infinite

Having an imagination is one of the best things in the world, I think. I am very easily pleased, because I have an imagination. Give me a cardboard box and I can amuse myself for hours...Yes this is coming from a 22 year old! As long as you have an imagination you can do anything, as John Muir says above. If you want to go to the moon, then go; if you want to be a rock star then sing; anything and everything is possible if you imagine it.

Some people may think it childish to imagine you can fly to Mars or beyond in a cardboard box, but in the long run I think its those who have very little imagination, and take things at face value who are the childish ones.

On family a family vacation many years ago, we visit an old Castle ruin in Shropshire UK. As we walked up a flight of 500/600 year old stairs, I could hear the hustle and bustle of the Castle occupants as they went about their daily business. Footsteps going up and down, running errands, or just going places. Then as we stood over what used to be the Great Hall, which is now just a shell of the outer walls, I could see the huge table down the centre, the roaring fire at the end of the room with people milling about drinking from their tankards or goblets. There were women in their float dresses with flowers in their hair, men sitting at the table eating the great chunks of bread and meat. I could feel the warmth of the braziers on the wall, giving out the flicker light which dances on the walls. The musicians in the corner playing a lively, cheery song, keeping the guests entertained. It was just wonderful. If I could choose to live in one period of history, it would be in the Medieval times, in a castle, so to visit one, and have the imagination to actually BE there, even for just a few minutes, is something that I'll never forget.

I hope that you all have at least some imagination to achieve the unachievable!